- Category: International Dating Agencies
- Published on Tuesday, 17 April 2012 23:33
- Written by Super User
- Hits: 130
The Shocking Truth about Mail Order Brides in the Internet Age - Real, Ideal, or Scam
Most international online singles, dating, personals, matchmaking, and marriage sites are stuck in the distant past (selling addresses and translation). The term “Mail Order Bride” is avoided like a social disease. While scams have always existed when men and women get together, the fall of the Iron Curtain and the rise of China have made MOB scams a growth industry.
You would think the Internet Age would have made scams more difficult, not easier. After all, if you can both get in front of webcams, you can chat directly. You can see what she looks like (was the profile photo 10 years old or photoshopped) and if you can communicate at all without an interpreter.
Our Sample Dude:
The best way to talk about using international dating sites to find your next ex-wife is to create a fictional dude as our model. We’ll call him “Chuck”.
- 60 years old
- has a penis and a job
- 2 weeks vacation coming up
- has at least $10,000 to start ($25,000 would be better)
Finding your bride abroad is not a cheap proposition. If you are American, you must have met in person for even a Fiancee Visa. If you are not married and are inviting her on a K-1, you will also fall under the evil provisions of IMBRA (agencies can help you with this).
17 Common Scam Indicators
- multiple profiles with different info in each
- profile disappears from the site
- her photos look like models from a magazine
- photos flash too much flesh (is she selling sex or looking for a husband)
- young woman with a huge age range for potential partners
- she asks for money
- she asks for travel money to visit your country
- she falls in love too fast
- she refuses to give you her email address, postal address, or telephone number
- she wants to meet in a 3rd country
- she says she needs money to pay the agency (sometimes true)
- sudden change of email address
- way too much correspondence
- she speaks good English but insists on you paying for a translator
- agency insists you use their travel agency to book your trip
- after you met, just correspondence and stringing you along
- she has relatives in the U.S. (they know how to game the immigration system)
Who’s Your Scammer?
- Big Agency (not likely)
Big introduction agencies like A Foreign Affair or AnastasiaDate have too much to lose by being part of a MOB scam. In fact, much of their time is spent monitoring thousands of local agencies around the world to guarantee a real experience for their clients. They have a vested interest in keeping the game clean.
- Local Agency Abroad (often)
Source of most scams. The agencies make money by signing up girls, arranging face-to-face meetings, and translating emails, phone calls, videos, and personal meetings. For every woman who finds her man, they lose a source of income. Individual agency owners and translators can fake emails, photos, and whole relationships.
- Woman (sometimes)
We’re guys. We’re stupid. Any beautiful woman can manipulate us with a simple promise of future sex. If you don’t keep your eye out for the scam signs, you can be taken. If all she wants is Dom at the most expensive nightclub, you are being used. And don’t believe that her mother suddenly needs an operation. Knight in shining armor might mean sucker.
The Zen of Age Differences
Most men looking abroad are searching for younger. Much younger. Chuck is a little ambivalent about the age of a potential bride. If she’s under 40 and he falls in love, he expects that she will want children. Over 40 women have fewer suitors and he can concentrate on a partner, not child drama.
For a 60 year old man who wants a young woman, here’s what I recommend:
If you are 60, and you just have to have a young, eye-candy bride, the Philippines is your venue. Companies like Cherry Blossoms have been introducing couples for over 30 years beginning with a true mail order bride glossy catalog.
In the early 80s, I served as a Consular Officer in the American Embassy in Manila. I have issued tens of thousands of visas (denied a few too). I have issued visas to successful marriages with a 50 year age difference. Kids and all. Even back then, Cherry Blossoms had a good reputation with the Embassy staff.
To be honest, I would not consider any Filipina over 30. Why? Because I know I could go as young as 18 and make it work. According to INS Officers I spoke to years ago, they are the least likely to get divorced of any mail order brides. (Divorce is still illegal in the P.I.)
Filipinas speak English, are mostly Catholic, and are very friendly to Americans. After all, we have been messing up their country for over 100 years. If Chuck was over 65 and receiving Social Security, he should consider retiring in Manila or Cebu. Also, if he decides to live there, he can drive out any scammers looking to get to the U.S.
Russian, Ukrainian, and FSU women must be the most beautiful in the world. Stunning. Jaw-dropping hot bodies. Some of the profiles from 25 year old will say she is seeking a husband up to 65. Maybe - if you have Bill Gates money.
My problem with Russian women in their 20s is trust. I have trouble believing that a typical woman in her 20s is really interested in old Chuck, especially if she has no children.
From mid-30s on, I believe the Russian women are more sincere and have their wild sides behind them. Remarriage is difficult when children are a part of the picture. She may well be ready for an older man who can provide stability and a fresh start.
Caveat: A Russian man once told me if you marry a Russian woman, knock her up right away. If she doesn’t want more children, it could be a sign she is not really that committed to you.
Visiting sites like Chinese Love Links and ChnLove, it seems that Chinese women are better looking in their 40s than their 20s. The typical woman looking to marry a Western man is divorced, has grown children (most likely living with the father’s family), is financially independent, and is truly looking for marital happiness.
An older, divorced woman’s prospects for a good match inside China are dismal. In her eyes, you might as well be George Clooney. You will find a more dynamic and exciting partner in China than at home, if this is your age range.
Caveat: I have seen some bad posts about ChnLove, but most of it seems dated. They sure do have some stunning Chinese women, especially in their 40s.
If she is in her 50s, why bother going abroad.
Warning: Don’t Settle
My biggest caveat for those looking for a mail order bride is don’t settle. If you are going to travel halfway around the world and spend some big bucks, you should target ONLY those women who have the total package for you.
- good enough is not good enough
- if she doesn’t turn you on completely, move on
- photos are a start, but be sure the chemistry is right
- you are never too invested to back out or move on
If what you want is a 20 something, leggy, busty, 5’10”+ blonde who is a medical doctor, you can find her (if you can win her heart and mind). And if you have the stones to keep her happy.
7 Steps to Find Your Perfect Mail Order Bride
- join A Foreign Affair free
- search the profiles for your potential matches
- when you are ready to go, upgrade your membership
- fill out your info for IMBRA compliance
- pick a tour city and schedule your trip
- enjoy the private dates and large socials
- really get to know your perfect bride
Don’t waste your time on letters and email. A tour with AFA makes sense both dollar-wise and time-wise. If you’re 60 like “Chuck”, you don’t have time to waste. In a one week visit, you will meet a number of women you found online, plus hundreds at socials. You don’t know where the chemistry might be.
Also, these guys are pros. They take care of all of the administrative crap and leave you maximum time to mix it up with the women. What’s more important? Your money or your life?